One of my biggest challenges personally has been walking through forgiveness. I have no problem forgiving others or even admitting if I have done something wrong and asking for forgiveness. However, walking through forgiveness for me is sometimes tough.
The reason I think this may be, is that I expect more from myself. No one can have a higher expectation of me, than I of myself. Therefore, when I do something that I know is a big no-no, others may forgive me, God forgives me, but, I struggle in walking through forgiveness.
The truth is, we all make mistakes. Often, the people who see the real us are much more inclined to forgive us and are much kinder to us than we are of ourselves. I want to share with you some of the reasons why you, and I, should try to forgive ourselves, and move beyond the mistakes.
01. Acknowledge the mistake.
When we make a mistakes, we cannot run. The fact is that no one is without flaw and we are all at one point or another going to make a mistake. Regardless of what the mistake may be, face it head-on with sincerity and acknowledge your mistake. Don't even wait for the other party to call you out on the mistake, just own the moment and acknowledge your mistake.
02. Ask for forgiveness.
After you’ve acknowledged your mistake, ask for forgiveness. Regardless of what size your tribe may be, we are all leaders. And as such we never know who we may inadvertently affect by our erroneous decision making. Acknowledging it is half the battle, the next step is to ask for forgiveness. Acknowledging your error doesn’t mean justifying it, this takes away from the actual apology. Acknowledging is explaining what you perceived to be correct but ultimately was wrong and therefore, you’d like to apologize.
03. Freedom isn't forced.
It’s a vulnerable moment when one understands they’ve made a mistake and at that moment, you would hope the other party involved would be empathetic. However, we can’t force them. We cannot fall into the temptation of making someone feel bad because they didn’t accept our apology. Our responsibility is to acknowledge the mistake and ask for forgiveness. Asking for forgiveness frees you, them accepting it frees them.
04. This too shall pass.
I live in Rochester, NY and one thing the Rochester weather has taught me is that the sun will come out again. For as long as the winters can feel, the sun still comes out again. And in life, the darkest hour doesn’t last past dawn. Just like the winter’s snow melts from the new sun, so too shall all the icky feelings of having made a mistake. The feeling of knowing that you messed up weighs heavy, but this too shall pass. It hurts and it feels as though you won’t find a way out of the error created, but you’ve got to know, soon it will be a thing of the past.
05. You can't live there.
Although we know this too shall pass, often we still take up residence in our mistake and can’t see the horizon past the hazardous spill. Focusing solely on your mistake will only keep you feeling miserable and powerless, which will prevent you from pushing forward.
06. Make a plan.
Now that you’ve been able to confront the mistake head on, recalibrate and march towards a better tomorrow. In acknowledging the mistake, you also have to acknowledge what you could’ve done to avoid it, therefore you must make a plan. The memories of the mistake will try to comes around and bug you, confront them with the future. To have a prosperous future you’ve got to walk on purpose towards your purpose, this requires a plan.
Final thought.
Not one of us is without fault, even the most successful people have made mistakes! The variable here is that we learn the lesson that is required for us to grow. The pain and discomfort that mistakes produce are temporary, but the lesson endures. If we can take that lesson with us, it will serve as a tool in our journey towards success.
Life has a funny way of taking us to moments that allow us to display what we’ve learned. This is why I believe that even in the pain we are propelled towards our purposes, but this only happens when we take the lesson and focus on a better tomorrow.
