One of the hardest things to do is to say goodbye.
Saying goodbye is challenging for various reasons. One reason is that we've gotten attached to a job, a relationship, or the vehicle or thing we're going to say goodbye to. The fact that we've had a wonderful experience and formed a relationship with the people we're about to say goodbye to makes us sad, uncomfortable, or apprehensive about what comes next. However, we all know that we will have to say goodbye at some time.
It could be saying goodbye to a friend or family member who is only in town for the holidays, or it could be that your car has stopped moving and it's time to put it to bed. The truth is that we all get to a point in our lives when we must say our final goodbyes. But we don't just have to say goodbye to places, people, and things; we also have to say goodbye to
mindsets at times.
We wrestle with two versions of ourselves. We wrestle with the fantasy self and the real self; another word for the fantasy self would be the ideal self. We wrestle with these two versions, and we have to say goodbye to something in doing so.
The fact is that if we want to live that ideal self out, or that fantasy self, we will have to say goodbye to what is part of our real or current self. I say fantasy self because, for some people, they've treated it like a fantasy, as something that can't be obtained or made real. While it would be nice to live out that fantasy or ideal self, you must leave behind a part of yourself. We are frequently consumed by what's in front of us that we can't look past the current state to the possibilities. We look at "what if" as a negative term but "what if" is filled with many opportunities. Often times we use "what if" only to say, "what if something bad happens?" but the truth is the other side of the coin is "what if something great is waiting on the other side of things?" Therefore, the real self or the current self has trouble saying goodbye.
I've often started a series on Netflix, Hulu, or other streaming platforms. But to be honest, there's only a handful that I've actually gone on to see its conclusion. The series I've seen were
Nurse Jackie,
Mad Men, and
Dexter from beginning to end. Nurse Jackie, Madmen, and Dexter were the three series I watched from start to finish.
Nurse Jackie's conclusion peeved me. I won't give anything away if you haven't watched it yet, but the ending didn't make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. Nurse Jackie's ending bothered me as I was rooting for Jackie and wanted her to get her life together. I wanted her to do the things she wanted to be happy and content with.
The culmination of Madmen was very metaphorical, and it was nice to see how Don Draper had evolved from the first episode to the end of the series as a person. However, I still had some underlining feelings about the way it ended.
And recently, Dexter was a series that I saw from beginning to end, and I did enjoy the conclusion because it felt as though there was some resolution. To my surprise, after I finished watching the entire series on Netflix, it made a return to the HBO streaming platform.
The dilemma with watching a series from beginning to end is that you become emotionally invested in the plot, the people, the environment, and the time. And you frequently find yourself rooting for the "bad guy." These shows and series allow us to examine ourselves and reassess our views or current positions in various scenarios. It even makes us wonder if we would act the same way if we were in their position as these characters. Yet, because we've been along for the trip, there remain unresolved sentiments when these shows conclude.
It is interesting when a writer or creator of a show decides to do a spin-off of one of our favorite shows. Sometimes they don't live up to the expectation of what we thought it would be. And yet the parallel between a Netflix series and our life is that we don't sometimes believe our spin-off is going to be good. We know that we want to grow, but we aren't always ready for the change it implies.
We are torn between our two selves. Our identity is sometimes so entwined with all we do that we forget who we are. We lose sight of the fact that we are human beings rather than human doings. As a result, saying goodbye to something we enjoy might be difficult. Saying goodbye to a loved one or a long-time workplace is also a blend of sadness and joy. Nevertheless, saying goodbye means acknowledging that something greater is ahead while these experiences were meaningful.
Yet we see the challenge in saying goodbye, and it is because we are acknowledging things will not be the same. Therefore, while on the surface, the fear is to say goodbye, the truth is that the fear is facing change. Not just a change of not having that car, not being in that relationship, or not being at that place of employment, but also on what is on the other side of this mountain. And life is full of transitions and hills and valleys; it's our choice to either say goodbye or stand by.
In sports, there is a term which is a buy-in or a
bye week. This term has nothing to do directly with the word goodbye; in fact, it's believed that it comes from the term to stand by. It has nothing to do with farewells (even though one might think of participants getting a bye as departing from the field for a moment). Instead, the sporting sense of bye is believed to be an alteration of the preposition by. The connection here is that one who sits out around is "standing by" or is being "bypassed" while others play their rounds. Therefore, we have a decision to make. Do we say goodbye to what isn't helping us grow, and we understand it has come to its conclusion? Or do we stand by, hoping things will change for the better? Just know, your refusal to say goodbye to your current state is your goodbye to something greater.
Much fear is attached to saying goodbye, but it isn't goodbye that we fear; it's changing. What comes after you say goodbye? What comes after the Netflix series has ended? What comes after you change your mindset? What comes after is a new perspective and a deeper understanding of oneself and viewpoints. What comes next? Endless possibilities.
I’m Miguel, and the above is just my opinion. Are you looking for more content like this? Here’s a complete list of articles and information for a free 30 Minute strategy session. Here's what I’m doing now and what I don’t do. I’d love it if you listened to my podcast, Strategy Rewind.
