Influence is a byproduct of personal relationships.
When a spider makes a web, they take their time, ensuring the strength of all the multi-layers that comprise it. Likewise, with influence, the stronger the bond in the relationship is, the stronger the influence. Therefore, a facilitator is someone who can change the course or facilitate an environment of growth, while not necessarily holding a position of authority.
Have you ever gone to school and said: “This is gonna be a bad day”? Or maybe you got to work and saw the stack of papers and a list of duties that had to be done and thought: “is it Friday yet?” But then, that one person that makes you laugh or is always encouraging you walks in the room, and all of a sudden, your perspective changes; this is a facilitator. All of those negative thoughts and all of the anxiety you were feeling, suddenly are washed away. All as you saw this person walk in because you know, this person facilitates an environment you want to be a part of.
Have you ever heard someone described as a person that commands the room when they enter it? They are facilitators. And just as there are good leaders, bad leaders, and great leaders, so there are facilitators in each category.
Leader OR Facilitator
For some people, this comes easy. They may have no idea that they are facilitators. For others, not so much. The same applies to those in leadership. For some, it comes naturally, while for others, not so much. You may ask, how is it that a person can be a leader without even knowing it? Remember, I stated that a leader is someone in a position, rather elected or developed, who holds authority and can directly change the course of an organization. Some people are functioning leaders, but the title has yet to be given by the organization. Although their peers understand, see, and nourish the leadership qualities in them.
Have you ever been in a job where a promotion came about, and your peers were encouraging you to apply? If led by your fears and self-doubt, you possibly did not do it and later felt the self-disappointment of what could have been. But if you found courage in their words and you took the leap, you may have found a promotion on the other side. Whatever the outcome, why did they encourage you to sign up for the promotion in the first place? Ignoring all of your limitations and shortcomings as if they do not see them? They are not blind to your shortcomings, they simply see the potential you posses is greater. They know, you in the right place could soar!
A leader is a facilitator.
The person in a position of authority can use that authority to change the course of an organization, and they would be within their rights to do so without ever consulting anyone. However, a great leader brings everyone in and facilitates an environment that allows others to have a stake in the organization, grow with the organization, find purpose in the journey, and further developing their vision while helping to accomplish the vision set by the tribe.
The great leaders have an interpersonal relationship with those that work with them. Take time to talk with those in your tribe. Even if for just a moment. Try to communicate with them while walking the halls, waiting for the elevator, taking the elevator, or while on break. By engaging and creating a relationship, you position yourself as a possible influence in their lives. You quickly realize that those relationships will bear fruit while in the journey towards accomplishing the set desired level of success.
The power of relationships.
A great leader understands the power of having healthy relationships. Have you ever had someone text or call you out of the blue? Within 15 seconds into the conversation, you realize: "this person is only calling to get something” - This is not a healthy relationship, and it is also not the type of relationship a leader should have with those within their tribe.
Some of the people that followed Jesus were not his disciples. However, Jesus had strong personal relationships with those who followed him. Peter, who was one of the 12 disciples, had his mother-in-law sick one day. He and the other disciples mentioned it to Jesus. The Bible tells us that Jesus went to the house of Peter, and there he healed his mother-in-law. While we cannot ignore the healing that took place, I would like to shine a light on the trust level Peter had in telling Jesus about the condition hi mother-in-law was experiencing. Not for one second did Peter think it was out of line to ask for help or healing; he knew the ability that Jesus had and the relationship they forged between them.
As I mentioned, his favor was not displayed only for his 12 disciples.
While on the road, several people came to Jesus to let him know that Lazarus had died. Lazarus and his sisters were close friends of Jesus, so much so that one of his sisters told Jesus: “had you been here, this would have never happened.” Several times we see Jesus engage with Lazarus and his sisters. His presence in their household was well received and almost expected when he was in their region.
Several things to note here is her boldness in coming to Jesus. Her relationship allowed for this boldness. Much like Peter knew to go to Jesus when his mother-in-law was sick, the sister of Lazarus knew to go to Jesus when he considered had grown overwhelmingly. Another thing to consider is that even Jesus, amid the multitude, cried for the passing of his friend.
Many times, there seems to be a disconnect from the person in the position of authority and their tribe. Its almost as if the leader was a wizard. Secluded on a high mountain, he only comes down from time to time despite all of the circumstances the tribe may be enduring. A great leader facilitates an environment of growth but is also reachable. I am sure you have heard of the open-door policy; although some leaders have their door open, it seems as though the door to their heart is closed.
Facilitate an environment of growth. Lead from a place of grace. Be the leader that keeps their site locked on the vision and lift those around them.
