There's a story about a couple who intended to start a family but struggled with self-doubt.
Both came from a complex background, and so they didn't see themselves qualified to raise a child; however, the idea of starting a family was an attractive one. As time went on, they had raised their children. Nonetheless, the mother of the household still felt as though she was not the best.
One mother's Day, her husband orchestrated an action that moved her and solidified the defeat of imposter syndrome.
She beat herself up for years over things she didn't do or could have done better, things she could have said but didn't say, things she didn't know. Despite her husband's assurances that she was an excellent wife and mother, she couldn't see herself in the mirror as such. Even her accomplished children, who had established their own families, would tell her how wonderful of a mother she was; but she still felt like a fraud.
What she did not know was that her husband had spoken with all of their family members before Mother's Day. And on Mother's Day morning, she was inundated with handwritten letters, not only from her husband and children but also from family members. They complimented her on how wonderful she was as a person, a relative, a friend, a wife, and a mother. This one act of compassion not only confirmed what others already knew about her but also served as a piledriver for imposter syndrome.
We frequently struggle with the thought that we are enough or that we will be identified as someone who made it past security to the room we are now in. We may feel as if we don't belong where we are, as if we don't deserve the achievement we've achieved. We may even believe that if we are caught, we will be embarrassed because we are unqualified to be in this room.
It is a sad reality that often, we are the very ones who stand in our way and that we are the first ones who lack the belief in our very own dreams. We can take the fact that others may doubt, and even turn that into fuel. But when self-doubt settles in and imposter syndrome appears, we find ourselves feeling as though we aren't enough for the success that we've obtained.
Precisely imposter syndrome is the idea that we should not be in the position that we are and that we only made it due to dumb luck. This feeling makes us feel underqualified and that if spotted will be tossed out like yesterday's garbage. But how do we combat imposter syndrome? How do we overcome the thoughts that soon someone will come to toss us out of the space we are in?
Write down your accomplishments.
One way to remove self-doubt is to write down your accomplishments. By writing down your successes and keeping them in a visible location, your phone, refrigerator, etc., you'll be able to remind yourself of those accomplishments and change the narrative of what you tell yourself. You belong where you are because of what you've done; hard work begot greatness, and greatness begot hard work.
Know your superpowers.
As Dr. King said, "Everyone has the power for greatness, not for fame but greatness, because greatness is determined by service." We often see the worst in ourselves before seeing the best. In fact, often, we will stand firm to defend another person's superpower while neglecting our own. Recognize your superpower because by doing so, you will be able to work towards manifesting the greatness that is in you. Greatness is not a destination; it's the revelation of the authentic you.
Distance yourself from toxic people.
If you are unsure of the red flags you are seeing, ask yourself: how do I feel when I am with this person? How do I feel when they are not around? Do they make me want to be better, or do they drown out any positive energy?
Embrace your limits
Growth does not occur by standing on the sidelines; it happens when you go! When you move and begin putting the skills you've learned into practice. You don't get good at something by just theorizing; you have to take action; it is at that moment that you may put all of your ideas and lessons to the test and grow. None of this is a hoax; it's all part of the process.
Imposter syndrome is the idea that you aren't good enough or qualified to be in the space that you are in. Another tool we can use to overcome those negative thoughts is
positive affirmations.
Don't have a positive affirmation? Use mine!
No setbacks, just setups.
No procrastination, just progress.
No distractions, just dedication.
No limitations, just breakthroughs.
No obstacles, just opportunities.
I am strong enough, smart enough, and equipped to manage every blessing that comes my way; and be a blessing to those I encounter.
